Monday, November 22, 2010

Out of Practice

I'm hungover.

And, I'm a little embarrassed about it.

Not because of the many tasks I ignored today in favor of hiding under the covers with a bottle of aspirin. Though, perhaps I should be. The bathrooms are still grimy, the laundry unwashed, and not a word is written of a blog post I was hoping to work on during Charlotte's nap time.

No, I'm embarrassed because my hangover was caused by a measly two vodka tonics. Two! That's like, what I used to consider a warm up for the REAL drinking. I drink wine nearly every night, sometimes beer, but apparently my hiatus from the hard liquor consumption has severely hindered my tolerance.

You might wonder why I am taking this so hard. Well, first of all, it's just one more sign of my divorce from my pre-baby self. I mean, even the WAY I got drunk is ridiculous. A hangover is always unpleasant, but it helps to have the memory of dancing on tables or totally killing "Livin' on a Prayer" at the karaoke bar, to remind you of why you got yourself into this mess in the first place.
I wasn't kidding about dancing on tables.

I got drunk by sitting on my couch in sweats, watching some British sketch comedy with Chris. Don't get me wrong, a good night. Just maybe not worth the throbbing head and queasy stomach I've endured today.

The other reason I am ashamed of the effect my imbibing had on my day is that I come from a drinkin' family. And we're not ashamed. My grandma and I will pound chardonnay like no one else. My sister and I can lose track of how many beers we've consumed and feel fine. And then there's my mentor: my mom.

My mom is the one who taught me how to drink Bombay Sapphire martinis (with three olives) and took me to Ireland where we drank pint after pint of Harp lager. She is the wind beneath my alcoholic wings!

And I've let her down, people. I've let her down. This is how our phone conversation went today:

Me: I'm hungover.

Mom: I'm sorry, babe. What'd you do last night?

Me: (laughing) Nothing. Just hung out at home and had a couple vodka tonics.

Mom: That's it? Two vodka tonics?

Me: I know! I'm so ashamed!

Mom: You know you're Irish, right? We taught you better than this.

It was like coming home with a bad report card. Only worse, because I was hungover.

"This is how you pour a martini, grasshopper."


  1. Girl, that dude in the picture does not look like Chris! :)

    Babies totally screw up one's ability to drink anything, pretty much. I used to be able to drink gin upon gin upon gin and feel nothing. No drunk, no hangover, nada. The one time I tried it post-baby, I got really sick. Now a half a beer is enough to get me red-faced and woozy.

  2. Ah, this is such a lovely tribute! I think I'm getting misty-eyed. Totally made me laugh...

  3. I hear you. Seriously :( I have one beer these days and I'm ready to dance on the coffee table. Then the hangover sets in about 3 hours after that beer.


  4. @Perpetua- Ha! That's my friend Eric. But, it's cool. He's totally gay. In fact, we were in a gay bar if I remember correctly. :) Oh, and if you think THAT'S inappropriate, you should see the pictures of him and Chris...

    @Mom- I'm glad you're feeling the love!

    @Kate- Freaking kids ruining our talent for drinking!

  5. Lame, isn't it. Don't worry, you can build the tolerance back up but you have to really work at it. Might not be worth it.

    That said, the last time I woke up hungover from two drinks was the day I suddenly realized my period was two weeks late. Surprise pregnant with #2! Just putting it out there.