Brooke, over at Mommy in Chief is doing a thing called "Fess Up Friday", and I thought I'd chime in this week.
I don't have any earth-shattering confessions (other than the fact that I love strippers), but here's what's going on with me:
The past week or so I have been in a major funk. I've been more tired than usual and quick to feel overwhelmed by the simplest of tasks. But, mostly, I've been sad. The kind of sad where you can't really pinpoint a cause, and therefore don't know how to make yourself feel better.
I've been whining about it to anyone who will listen, and people have been venturing guesses left and right. Maybe it's a letdown from all the excitement of the party and the out-of-town visitors. That's possible. I'm kind of like a kid in that respect. I get a little sad after Christmas or my birthday. This is kind of the same situation. No more presents? No more big, family dinners? No more ATTENTION? Whhhyyyyy meeeeee????
Maybe it's hormones. This is the one that had me reaching for the pregnancy tests in case of Scenario A or the tampons for Scenario B (AKA my first period in almost two years). I apologize for the TMI for those of you with delicate sensibilities. Or penises.
I guess my confession is that I am totally being a huge baby about this whole thing. I keep saying I'm gonna suck it up and start getting shit done around here, but instead I wallow, eat crap food, wallow some more, and watch T.V.
It's a vicious cycle, really, because doing some of the things I keep shoving aside will ultimately make me feel better. If I cleaned, I wouldn't be so miserable about being in this house I so desperately want to get out of. If I grocery shopped and cooked, I wouldn't continue to feed my self-loathing with greasy Chinese food and McDonald's french fries. If I blogged or started looking into writing some proposals, I wouldn't be ripening my sense of inadequacy every time I thought about the fact that I should be in school right now and thinking "Holy Shit! I'm a grad school dropout!"
So, this is my attempt to snap myself out of it. I've blogged (even if it was just to bitch), I'm going to go start some laundry, and maybe even tackle the mountain of clothes in my bedroom.
Or maybe I'll just go order a pizza and watch reruns.
Dusting off the cobwebs
7 years ago
Ah, once again we are kindred spirits. Maybe we need to get together (rather difficult seeing as we live in different countries... but hey, it could happen) and burn something symbolic of our crappy moods thus ridding ourselves of our crappy moods. Or, maybe we both feel better now that we have blogged it. Or, maybe we will both just need to do a little more wallowing. Cheers.
ReplyDeleteI feel a little better now that I've blogged, but I really did order pizza! LOL
ReplyDeleteI think wallowing is good, but I do it a lot, so I'm not one to judge.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if it's also a post-one-year-old slump. Now you (and I'll be joining you in a few weeks) don't have a "baby" anymore. That scares me, because a lot of my behavior (not getting shit done, *ahem*) I excuse with "but I have a babybee!")
Did I just hijack your wallow with one of my own? Yikes!
Damn you! I want my wallow back!
ReplyDeleteYou could be onto something, though. I love that she's a toddler, but I have been catching myself eyeing babies of the younger, balder variety...
I think it's probably just a bunch of things, but I really can't wallow for too long because I have it pretty damn good!
i can't believe you tagged this with "i suck"! you are only human. sometimes funks have no explanation and truthfully they need one. allow yourself to be down and take the time you need to be good to yourself. one day you will get through it. it's a weird time in life right now. i've been feeling similarly. and most of all keep on writing. you've been inspiring me to write lately! :) Courtney x
ReplyDeletethat was supposed to say truthfully they DON'T need one!!
ReplyDeleteThank you. :)
ReplyDeleteNow if only I could inspire MYSELF to write. Or, rather, to make time for it.