Thursday, October 20, 2011

Panic in my Uterus

Fair warning: I'm going to be a pain in the ASS for the rest of this pregnancy. I'm something of a hypochondriac, an avid worrier, and I've had three miscarriages. So, every little twitch, pain, or hour spent without pregnancy symptoms results in absolute panic on my part.

Last Wednesday afternoon I was convinced that I had a bladder infection and some foreboding abdominal pain. I spent three hours in urgent care only to be told by the doctor that there was no infection. As for the pain? Well, he didn't know. A simple trip to the lab could have confirmed the lack of infection, but I just HAD to see a doctor about this very minor pain. Since the medical branch in my new area doesn't have an OB on call for urgent care, it was pointless. But, I couldn't not go. What if something was horribly wrong?

I came home tired, frustrated, and also slightly pleased that I was able to finish my book during my long stay in the waiting room. I told myself that since there was no infection and the pain had stopped, I would tough it out until my appointment with my doctor on Monday.

But Thursday, after running around with Charlotte all morning I came home and started feeling the pain again. And, this time it was worse. I panicked. Texted Chris. And then I did what I always do: I complain to L until she offers to Google for me. She is an expert Googler, and this way I don't have to be exposed to all the horrible possibilities Google has to offer. L filters them out for me. Her diagnosis? Round ligament pain. But, we both agreed I should call the doctor just to ease my mind. I did, and miraculously, they were able to fit me in that afternoon! I rushed down there to see my doctor. Her diagnosis?

Round ligament pain.

I felt so stupid. But, then I got to see my little baby on the ultrasound. And the first thing we saw when my doctor focused in on him/her was this:
It took five days to get this stupid picture up, and it STILL isn't rotated the right direction. I blame my crappy PC and lack of access to our Mac.

The baby waved! I mean, look, I'm not an idiot. I know the baby wasn't trying to be all, "What's up, Mom?" but you should have seen it. A tiny arm raised up and then waved back and forth. It was just one of those funny coincidences, but it made my whole day. I drove home grinning.
Here he/she is just hanging out.

I should have known better. I should have remembered that these little aches and pains are normal and just sat tight until my next appointment. But, I may never be able to do that. It's so hard not to portend doom every time something feels different or even a little strange. Sometimes it feels like everything going well until I actually have this baby in my arms is just an impossible dream.

But then my baby waved at me. And kicked and squirmed and showed off its stellar heart rate. And I think that maybe this kid is going to be tough like its sister and go the distance.

Just for fun, here's Charlotte eating a cupcake. Fun for whom, you ask? Me! Especially since I didn't have to clean her up after this took place.


  1. I had two high-risk pregnancies and it's not over-stating to say that I OBSESSED over each of those pregnancies something fierce. I was actually relieved when I had to have 6 or 7 ultrasounds for each kid because then I could see that they were ok. So while this doesn't really help you (I assume) I just wanted you to know that you're not the only hypochondriac mama out there. Thinking good thoughts for you and your little.

  2. Glad everything is OK! I'm a worrier/panicker, too. And FWIW, I think the little one is TOTALLY waving in that sonogram.

  3. Totally get the obsession. Every twinge, every cramp, every bubble. So fun to see your little nugget give a high five!

  4. You don't personally know me...I am Kristin Frank's auntie Caren. I just read your blog and loved it and had to comment. Refreshing to read a LITERATE blog or for that matter FB posting. Loved the pics of your kid(s) and kid to be. Your daughter is precious and the cupcake pic was priceless. Good luck with the new one -- this one knows how to wave really good! Loved it.

  5. @Marylin- My doctor classified me as high risk because of the miscarriages and some blood pressure issues, so I'm getting an appointment about every two weeks, which is AWESOME. Even that feels too long. I don't know how I ever went longer than that.

  6. @Shasta- Heck yeah, he/she is waving! I was just trying to play it cool. ;)

  7. @Marlena- Thanks. It is pretty incredible for sure. :)

  8. @Caren- Thank you! I appreciate you reading and your kind words.

  9. Hi Baby!! (that one's gonna be a stinker, I can tell, getting you all worked up like that.)