I took my niece to the movies for her birthday last week, and we saw a trailer for Tinker Tailor Soldier Spy. I was delighted to see how many of my favorite actors are featured in the film. And, by "favorite actors" I mean "actors on whom I have enormous crushes." I mean, come on. What cliché of a woman doesn't have a crush on Colin Firth?
Not featured in this picture is the dreamy Irish Ciarán Hinds, whom I fell in love with when I saw the adorable "Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day." Seriously, if you haven't seen it, do yourself a favor. Lee Pace of "Pushing Daisies" fame ain't too bad on the eyes, either.
Oh, what the hell? Here's Mr. Hinds in all his glory. He's hot, right? He played Rochester, y'all. What's not to love?
So, here I am, sitting in the theater, getting all worked up about this movie and all the great actors in it. Gary Oldman! Ralph Fiennes! I keep seeing one after the other, and I'm already making a mental note to see this movie. when suddenly it dawns on me: these guys are all REALLY old. Okay, I need to be careful. They're only in their fifties. But, you know, so are my parents. So, it's a little weird. I also think they were aged for the film, or at least made to look more haggard than they normally do. In any case, god help me, it's still working for me. But, then again, this is very typical of me. I married someone six years my senior, I always tried to hang out with my mom and her friends instead of the other kids, and I developed a HUGE obsession with Emma Thompson at the tender age of eleven. What? You were preoccupied with middle-aged British actresses when you were in middle school, weren't you? I thought so.
Changing gears now: I have mentioned that I graduated to maternity clothes a little early this pregnancy. I've heard this is normal for a second pregnancy, so even though it bums me out that I'm ALREADY wearing the pants I will have to wear for the next six months, I wasn't too upset about it. That was until this morning when I happened to see a picture of me about six months pregnant with Charlotte. I was PU-FFY. My face looked like it had been gently inflated with helium. And that was with over three months to spare! So now I'm worried that if I'm bigger than I was at this point, I'm just going to keep getting bigger and bigger until I start getting the "You must be due any day now!" when I'm only five months along, or worse, the "Are you sure there's only one in there?" I'm a little concerned about this because given my already fragile emotional state, I might have to hurt someone if any of these scenarios arise.
I was on the phone with my mom expressing my concern that I'm going to be a cow by the time this pregnancy is over, when Charlotte, overhearing me, asked, "You're going to be a cow for Halloween, Mommy?" I'm pretty sure she's going to be genuinely disappointed when I don't show up as a Guernsey on Monday night.
What else? Oh, I got my eyebrows waxed the other day, and it got me thinking about how I was sitting in a different chair having a different woman try to make casual conversation with me in limited English as she rips tiny hairs out of my face, just a mere few hours before my water broke during my pregnancy with Charlotte. The woman motioned to my enormous belly and asked when I was due. "Today!" I brightly replied. You should have seen the look of sheer horror that swept over her face. It was like she thought that not only was I currently in labor, but I also made a horrible mistake and expected HER to deliver my baby in the waxing chair. Hilarious.
Okay, that's all for now. Maybe next time I'll tell you about how Charlotte tried to convince me that saying "no" to her would make me sick. But, then again, maybe I'll be too busy having an anxiety attack about how my child gets exponentially smarter than me every day. It's pretty terrifying.
For the record, I wore out no less than FOUR VHS's of Much Ado About Nothing when I was in Junior High School. "Not until God makes men of some other metal than earth!" Oh Emma!!
ReplyDeleteOMG, I SO wish we had been friends in junior high! I was so lonely. LOL
ReplyDeletelolz, makes the look more haggard. Lady you shouldn't worry with your weight at this point, not until they tell you too :) I can't believe they let you get your eyebrows waxed. They wouldn't touch mine here while I was preggers, some BS about my skin being sensitive while Im preggo. They're just turds I guess!
ReplyDeleteIs it too late to get a cow costume for Halloween? Because that would rock.
ReplyDeleteI had a pedicure when I was a week from my due date with son2 and it was so awesome how freaked out I made the girl who was painting my toes. We were talking about how someday she wanted a baby but she didn't relish the messy parts of childbirth, in particular, and I thought it would be funny if I gave birth right there in her little spa room with all the white towels...
Ahh... I think that's what we call black humour. And it's the little things like that that keep you from going cuh-raaaazy when people are asking you if there's only one, if you're hoping for another girl, or a boy, etc.
Dang, I loved this post. :)
ReplyDeleteSo, on the subject of haggard men, those guys are HOT. And you know the filthy old version of Michael does it for me, so no judgment here. I mean, he looks like a hobo on good days. A sexy, sexy hobo...
And if anyone dares to ask if you're having two, tell them to reach up there and check. Gross, to be sure, but there is basically no comeback to it, so you win!