Thursday, July 22, 2010

Slowing Down

You might be wondering what is going on with me weaning Charlotte.

No? You have better things to think about than the status of my lactating breasts?

Well, indulge me then, will you?

Basically the weaning is...just...not.

Here's the thing. I am a very social being, and I spend a lot of time meeting friends for coffee, inviting them over for dinner, and initiating trips to the park with our kids. Lately we've been staying busy even in the evenings, possibly because of the extended daylight hours, I don't really know. In any case, this busy schedule of mine, combined with Charlotte's staunch refusal of her formerly early bedtime, has resulted in many a night of skipping her bedtime routine and just nursing her to sleep when she's too tired to fight it.

Obviously she needs stability and predictability, she needs to feel secure if weaning is going to be successful. I keep saying, "Next week won't be so busy. We'll start then." And before Sunday, my week has been booked to capacity, and I find myself in the same situation.

This is adversely affecting more than just weaning. I think dragging Charlotte all over town is putting a strain on our relationship. She's tired, doesn't know what's coming next, and I'm getting annoyed with her for not handling it all perfectly, for getting upset and wanting to be held in lieu of sitting in a shopping cart.

It's also making it difficult to stick to my goal of feeding her mostly organic, non-processed foods. When we're out all the time, and I'm in a jam, need to feed her before we get home, my options are limited.

And then there's my writing. I remarked to Chris today that I left school to write, and I actually did more of it while I was attending classes. I've always been more productive when my life was busy, so this isn't surprising, but it is problematic.

I love my friends. I love coffee dates and play dates and girl talk. I love seeing my friends and family, the people who adore my kid, get to spend time with her. I won't give all that up.

But. BUT.

I also need to not be selfish. Today we were meant to go visit some friends at the beach. I was excited for it, but when Charlotte spend most of the night waking up in discomfort from a stuffy, runny nose, I knew she needed to rest. So, we spent the day at home. I didn't leave the house until 5, and that was just a quick trip to Target. Truth be told, I was restless. I was disappointed to not be at the beach.

But, Charlotte needed that, and she needs more of it. Of course I will still see my friends, but I need to get my kid back on a routine. I need to get myself on a writing routine. I need a little more order in this house.

So, I know this wasn't particularly interesting, but I'm putting it out there so as to maybe keep myself accountable. I will be writing more. I might even go back to school. I will slow down for the sake of my daughter and my relationship with her, as well as her health. Hey, maybe I'll even find some time to exercise.


So we can continue to be buddies...


  1. Routines are good. Boring, but good. I think that's what Charlotte (and you!) need to get her through this transition.

  2. We're terrible at bedtime routine, other than the pajama-putting-on part. I don't know why this is.

    You guys are adorable, though. :)

  3. Totally, Ginger. They really are so necessary (and so boring). But, in a way, I find them comforting, too.

    Perpetua- Our bedtime routine isn't much more advanced than that. She doesn't always get a bath, so sometimes it's just jammies, teeth, and a story.

    And, thanks!

  4. I am always unnerved the times I discover Hank has been up in his room but not calling for me. Why this bothers me so much, I don't know. It's either vaguely creepy (since his room is pitch-dark and all) or I feel like the Worst.Mother.Ever. for stupid, irrational reasons (he was awake! and safe! and I wasn't THERE).Anytime (okay, so like 2 times) I have woken up before Hank and discovered him playing in his room I am racked, RACKED with guilt. But, uh, there will come a time when kids do their own thing and we aren't right there staring at them, right? But it just seems like that time is so far off.

    Good luck with weaning. I keep flirting with the idea but it seems like it would be absolutely impossible, given Hank's strong-willed-ness, that I feel like I need to REALLY want it (or have some external thing in charge, like a trip away or hard-core-anti-depressants that I probably need, come to think of it) in order to stand my ground