On Sleep and Summer

First things first: I will update you on the sleeping situation. I decided to try being a little firmer about Charlotte going to sleep in her room by telling her very matter-of-factly that she was going to have to sleep in her room, I loved her, and so on, before walking out even as she was protesting. I knew if she screamed and got really upset, I would come back to her shortly, but if she settled down quickly enough, I wouldn't have to go back in. I was surprised at how well it worked. Sometimes I have to go back in, and other times she gives up and goes to sleep almost right away. It still makes me feel icky to leave her in there when she's crying, but then again, I guess I know her well enough to know when she really needs me, and I always respond to those cries.

Having said all that, if she wakes up in the middle of the night, she is usually upset, and I always take her to my bed at that point. But, I don't really mind that, as long as I get my evenings to myself. I feel comfortable with what I'm doing, but I also don't regret listening to her when she asked me not to leave her for those few weeks. She IS having some separation anxiety, and I'm trying to be as attentive as possible during the day because I think it alleviates some of the tension when it's time to put her to bed.

An example of her separation anxiety: today I was looking at a text from a friend on my phone. Charlotte walked up to me and hugged my legs. because I'm trying to be more attentive, I immediately put the phone down (instead of first finishing the text)and knelt down to hug her. She made a sort of whimper, and I asked her if she was okay. She said "yes," but she didn't seem okay, so I said "What's wrong?" She started bawling. I asked her once or twice what was the matter, but she didn't answer me. So, I just let her cry while I held her, and when she was calm I suggested we have a snack together. Having my full attention cheered her up right away. And bedtime tonight was a breeze. This isn't to say that I won't ever ask her to wait while I finish a conversation or a task, just that I am trying to be more sensitive while she is going through...whatever she's going through.

In other news, it's summer, and we've been enjoying ourselves. We haven't been to the beach yet, but we will hopefully be remedying that soon. We've been taking lots of trips to the pool, playing with bubbles and sidewalk chalk, taking walks, and going on day trips to the zoo and museums. It's funny how summer feels different, more leisurely, even when you aren't getting a break from anything. My life today is, for all intents and purposes, exactly the same as it was three months ago, but I feel like I'm on vacation. I guess it's all the sun.

I went in for the blood tests my doctor ordered after my last miscarriage. I don't remember what all the tests were, but there were ten vials of blood when I left there. Hopefully, I either find out that everything is fine, or we determine the problem and find a way to fix it. I have a lot of thoughts about getting starting to try for another baby, (which won't happen until next month at the earliest) but I guess I'm not quite ready to delve into them yet.

My brain feels like it's on vacation, too. So, instead of a proper closing, here is a picture of Charlotte showing off her haircut and style last week.