Charlotte: Eating Sand and Stealing Hearts. But Mostly Eating Sand.

I've spent the last few days writing the same blog post, whining, being hormonal and emotional, and just generally being loads of fun.

Charlotte has been waking up several times during the night, sometimes taking more than an hour to go back to sleep, and only accepting my presence as acceptable, so that even when Chris happens to be home and willing to deal with her, she screams bloody murder until I come in and ultimately nurse her.

I'm feeling stifled by her dependence on me, and I'm sleep-deprived. Plus, like I said: hormones. All of these combined have made me, unpleasant, to say the least, and I'm really surprised Chris hasn't started slipping mood stabilizers into my coffee just to save his own sanity.

Last night, as I was getting ready for bed, I started thinking about all the bitching I'd been doing.

I started recalling how I'd spent an evening with a friend complaining that I can't go out for drinks and to independent movies with my child-free friends anymore, and that I can't afford to buy clothes, and that I HATE all my clothes. I whined to anyone who would listen about how I needed a break from Charlotte, how I couldn't deal with the wakings and the clinginess.

I won't go into the details of how I ended up putting things in perspective because while the inner workings of my mind may be complicated, they certainly aren't interesting. But, suffice it to say, I realized I was being a giant ass.

I'm not saying we can't complain when our kids do annoying crap like keep us up all night. Nor am I saying it's wrong to want some space from them. I am with Charlotte all the freaking time. Even without the defiance and poor sleep habits, I'd need some time away from her. I'm just saying I can't let this self pity consume me the way it has been. She might shove sand in her mouth and get in my face right after I've sternly told her not to eat sand. She might get all bright-eyed at 3 A.M. and start talking about pie (true story). But, she also kicks a lot of ass. And, here's some video evidence to prove it.





Once she takes this act on the road, I'll have money for all the nice clothes I want!