tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7851562882838801276.post2193757425328829558..comments2023-03-26T07:28:20.172-07:00Comments on Now You're in the World: ControverSunday: The ReturnMeganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18314404326604784926noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7851562882838801276.post-72187987155357588362010-08-17T19:28:10.136-07:002010-08-17T19:28:10.136-07:00Okay, I got you all linked up!
Anyone else?
Any...Okay, I got you all linked up! <br /><br />Anyone else?<br /><br />Anyone?Meganhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18314404326604784926noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7851562882838801276.post-1793538119669031502010-08-17T18:21:50.717-07:002010-08-17T18:21:50.717-07:00You can link up my Fess Up Friday post!
I believ...You can link up my Fess Up Friday post! <br /><br />I believe that the main concern for any disciplinary action should at its core be teaching. If you can't answer the "What is this teaching her?" question then it likely isn't effective. (For example my brother put his 9 year old in his room for the night for getting angry and threatening the neighbor girl... but there was never any discussion about how to handle his anger appropriately the next time).Brookehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09290173452432821500noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7851562882838801276.post-69438935278736508672010-08-17T15:59:03.304-07:002010-08-17T15:59:03.304-07:00Check it: I posted!
http://mmeperpetua.wordpress.c...Check it: I posted!<br />http://mmeperpetua.wordpress.com/2010/08/17/controversunday-toddler-discipline/<br /><br />I'm not terribly controversial on this one either. We're the same way in that we know what we won't do, like spanking, but we don't have theories or approaches or sticking points.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7851562882838801276.post-70352191208333630962010-08-17T05:21:51.041-07:002010-08-17T05:21:51.041-07:00I totally forgot I wrote about discipline too! Thi...I totally forgot I wrote about discipline too! This summer heat has clearly fried my brain. So here's my post from May: http://disgruntled.tumblr.com/post/610901674/controversunday-sparing-the-rod<br /><br />The Noodle is now 7.5 months old and crawling, so discipline is playing a slightly more prominent role in our house, but it's still in the form of "Noooo, you can't grab the cable box/end table/air conditioning cable/file cabinet." She does get angry if she can't have something, but she's still young enough that we can distract her with walking around the room or giving her another toy. But you raise an excellent point, Megan: that sometimes our kids just need their sadness/frustration acknowledged. I think it teaches kids not to judge their feelings. Sometimes we're sad, sometimes we're happy, and neither is a *better* feeling to have.The Disgruntled Academichttp://disgruntled.tumblr.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7851562882838801276.post-15280938412847233722010-08-16T12:10:13.432-07:002010-08-16T12:10:13.432-07:00@Ginger- I'm glad I won't be alone! It sou...@Ginger- I'm glad I won't be alone! It sounds like we have pretty similar approaches. I think we'll be fine. :)<br /><br />@Janet- As usual, awesome advice. I love the idea of Charlotte being my employee! LOL<br /><br />@Joanne- I'm with you on the apparent ineptitude of the firm talking, but I think it ultimately will pay off. I'm doing the same thing as you as far as trying to help her put words to her emotions, but without assuming that I know what she's feeling, if that makes sense. So, more like, "You seem frustrated: instead of "Oh, you're maaaad." LOL<br /><br />I hope for both our sakes, more people weigh in. I could use all the advice I can get!Meganhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18314404326604784926noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7851562882838801276.post-26000103260142366382010-08-15T22:19:09.644-07:002010-08-15T22:19:09.644-07:00My blog is closed to the public, so I'll have ...My blog is closed to the public, so I'll have to comment here. This is timely for me too. My daughter is 17 months old and really starting to push the limits to see where the boundaries are. She's picked up hitting and biting from daycare too, which is oh-so-charming. Firm talking to hasn't seemed to work very well so far. I have been trying to put words to her feelings (sad, mad, etc). I'm also reading "Playful Parenting" - I don't want to spank either so I'm looking for other ways to handle inappropriate behavior. We're trying to figure out what to do with her so I'm curious to see what people have to say!Joannehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11787670667651265726noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7851562882838801276.post-61172433548860999452010-08-15T22:17:18.440-07:002010-08-15T22:17:18.440-07:00Megan, thank you for your awesome compliment and f...Megan, thank you for your awesome compliment and for linking to me!<br /><br />I struggled with discipline, too. I am a people pleaser and the word NO seldom crossed my lips until I had my first toddler. Now, with 3 children, it's still not a fun word, but I've learned. OH, how I've learned. <br /><br />Megan, you're right about all children being different. But, I do believe there are some discipline guidelines that are the safest and most effective for just about ALL toddlers.<br /><br />What I call "The CEO, matter-of-fact approach" works best in my opinion -- not being too stern, not lecturing, definitely not ignoring the act, but projecting effortless control. If we act mad, lecture, or dwell on our child's misbehavior for more than a second, we risk her continuing to want to seek negative attention. If we do an "Oh, poor me," we can give her guilt.<br /><br />Toddlers are like new employees. They are trying to learn the job description. They need us, the CEOs, to teach them. <br /><br />Let's say our toddler hits. The ideal response is to anticipate it, block it with our hand and say calmly, but firmly, "I won't let you hit". The beauty of a very direct "I won't let you hit", is that it not only assures our child that we will stop him (which is ABSOLUTELY what he wants when he acts out), it also gives him the comfort of knowing that we are SO in command that we will not even LET him hurt us, or anyone else.<br /><br />Then he will want to know if this rule holds true on Friday afternoons, early mornings when we're tired, or when HE'S tired...you get the picture. It's about consistency, and not making a big deal out of a toddler doing what he's supposed to do...which is to simply find out what's expected.janetlansburyhttp://janetlansbury.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7851562882838801276.post-86873249179764432182010-08-15T13:40:55.101-07:002010-08-15T13:40:55.101-07:00I find myself struggling with the idea of discipli...I find myself struggling with the idea of discipline. J isn't one yet, but he's already pushing some boundaries, and I struggle with what, if anything, to do right now. I've been going with the "redirect, redirect, redirect" route, but so far to no avail. I hope it's a "someday this will kick in" thing.<br /><br />J's already showing an iron will, so as he gets older I'm already dreading the tantrums and how to discipline him. I'm also dreading the differences between my style and N.C.'s style of discipline--I'm more of a softy on some things, and often think J's a little young for the lessons N.C. wants to impart. But then, I feel like this is my biggest area where I'm afraid we'll fail in one way or the other--either in being too harsh or too soft. <br /><br />So, I'll be there with you screwing it up and hoping for the best.Gingerhttp://rambleramble.comnoreply@blogger.com