tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7851562882838801276.post2187248377931980205..comments2023-03-26T07:28:20.172-07:00Comments on Now You're in the World: That Which Never WasMeganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18314404326604784926noreply@blogger.comBlogger19125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7851562882838801276.post-6549722551953692762011-02-28T15:38:33.622-08:002011-02-28T15:38:33.622-08:00@Joanna- Just emailed you. :)@Joanna- Just emailed you. :)Meganhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18314404326604784926noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7851562882838801276.post-37440205305508722422011-02-28T08:08:15.520-08:002011-02-28T08:08:15.520-08:00Hi Megan,
Thanks for your sweet words on Unspoken ...Hi Megan,<br />Thanks for your sweet words on Unspoken Grief. I'd added your blog a while ago, but admit that I hadn't read it, until today. I just find sometimes, that when I'm in the dumps, reading stories of loss makes me more teary. But as my EDD approaches, I'm yearning to see that I'm not alone. You know how terribly sorry I am that you had to go through this. If you read my blog, especially my second post, you'll see that my experience with my doctor(s) was equally horrifying and disappointing. I did end up writing a letter to the ministry, and got a polite "thank you" back. I never did, however, lodge a complaint with the hospital.<br /><br />I hate to disagree with you, Megan, but here's another perspective, simply some food for thought:<br />We didn't tell our friends or family that we were pregnant. Only our parents knew. We didn't tell as we were always told that you didn't make any announcement until the 2nd trimester. When we lost our angel and then told our family and closest friends of our loss, the reaction was lukewarm at best. Perhaps its because people didn't know, that they reacted like they didn't care, but on my dark days I've decided they just didn't care. The sense of anger and disappointment that I feel towards them is hard to deal with. I find family functions painful, as I have to smile and nod when I just want to slap them silly and ask why they didn't care about my baby or our pain. We had no sympathy, no flowers, no one to make us a meal - we ate frozen pizza for a week. Now when I see friends, I don't know if they heard that we lost our baby, I don't know if they are whispering behind my back and I don't want to make an announcement now.<br /><br />I do know that if I'm ever blessed enough to get pregnant again, I think that we'll announce it widely. Perhaps if people know and are used to the idea for a few months, should something happen, we wouldn't be alone again - but I hope that we will have a take-home baby, as no one wishes to suffer like this again.<br /><br />If you want to talk Megan, please email me.Joannahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05823767091787001229noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7851562882838801276.post-2355336026207207872011-02-20T14:11:33.619-08:002011-02-20T14:11:33.619-08:00@Cheryl- Thank you. You don't have to say any ...@Cheryl- Thank you. You don't have to say any more than that!<br /><br />@RubyRedMomma- Thank you so much. And I am keeping my fingers crossed for you, as well!Meganhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18314404326604784926noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7851562882838801276.post-10541394219750078782011-02-20T11:15:17.013-08:002011-02-20T11:15:17.013-08:00Huge hugs to you. I am so sorry for your loss. I h...Huge hugs to you. I am so sorry for your loss. I have to agree, having my daughter has made my recent miscarriages less crushing. I have a precious little child to keep me strong! I hope you are able to expand your family too. Wishing us both ONE more blessing! XOXOTonihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00852092523128242482noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7851562882838801276.post-6145510906959828732011-02-18T15:27:29.718-08:002011-02-18T15:27:29.718-08:00I wish I could say something more meaningful than,...I wish I could say something more meaningful than, "I'm sorry" but I truly am. Everything else I would say has been summed up by your obviously large and loving group of friends, real or virtual.Cherylhttp://picpoetprose.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7851562882838801276.post-89115038526100682212011-02-17T23:40:40.278-08:002011-02-17T23:40:40.278-08:00@Ginger- I do know that. You guys proved that the ...@Ginger- I do know that. You guys proved that the day this happened. :)<br /><br />@Kathleen- Thank you. It is nice to know that you are thinking of me.Meganhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18314404326604784926noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7851562882838801276.post-60632316173631967642011-02-17T16:35:24.558-08:002011-02-17T16:35:24.558-08:00Beautifully expressed.
And I am with mmperpetua....Beautifully expressed. <br /><br />And I am with mmperpetua... don't feel embarrassed. You have to just do what feels right at the time and though it feels uncomfortable to have to tell people it didn't work out this time, it is also really hard to keep things a secret. <br /><br />Just want you to know that I have been thinking about you a lot lately. I know there really isn't anything I can do, but if there was, I would totally be there. Hang in there.kathleen (amoment2think)http://www.amoment2think.wordpress.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7851562882838801276.post-12838478050404886602011-02-17T16:29:21.337-08:002011-02-17T16:29:21.337-08:00I've had this in my reader to try and wait unt...I've had this in my reader to try and wait until I had the brainpower to comment appropriately, and now I've waited so long that Perpetua said everything I wanted to. Everything. Imagine me copying and pasting her comment for mine. <br />I hate that you're embarrassed--you have nothing, NOTHING to be embarrassed about. I hate that doctor--I want to throat punch him for you. I hate that you're going through this. But I'm so glad you have Chris and Charlotte and family and friends who are there for you. <br />And you know we're here for you too, right?Gingerhttp://rambleramble.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7851562882838801276.post-48934618591898656322011-02-17T15:48:48.660-08:002011-02-17T15:48:48.660-08:00sending you a lot of love. ♥sending you a lot of love. ♥Devan @ Unspoken Grief™http://unspokengrief.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7851562882838801276.post-64652725915946562062011-02-17T14:44:47.069-08:002011-02-17T14:44:47.069-08:00In regards to the doctor, I guess I just figured t...In regards to the doctor, I guess I just figured there would be some sort of survey about my visit because kaiser does that a lot, and I figured I'd deal with it that way. But, since that doesn't appear to be happening, I guess I could think about reporting him. I thought maybe I was overreacting? But, you all seem to think otherwise, so I will consider it.<br /><br />Thank you all for the kind words and support. It means the world to me. Seriously.Meganhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18314404326604784926noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7851562882838801276.post-64861947248525218782011-02-17T10:43:50.468-08:002011-02-17T10:43:50.468-08:00I'm sorry lady :(I'm sorry lady :(Katehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15074761840714364731noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7851562882838801276.post-70228215223434994012011-02-17T02:23:02.975-08:002011-02-17T02:23:02.975-08:00Don't be embarrassed. Oh my gosh, don't be...Don't be embarrassed. Oh my gosh, don't be embarrassed. I think part of the need to share, especially when you're trying for second child, is that so much of it has to do with the first child. Is the timing right for her, how will the pregnancy affect your energy, etc. It's just impossible not to tell people. <br /><br />Agreed with everyone on the doctor. Is there a way to report him? He handled EVERYTHING wrong, up to and including not having your family in the room. Who even does that? I'd like to think that he handled things badly because it's difficult for him, not because he's a cold jerk, but really, either way, he can't do that to people. <br /><br />And if anyone tells you to "just be grateful" that you have C, point me in the direction of the Sayer of Stupid Things, and I shall deliver some punches in the throat. Seriously. Or maybe I'll borrow Clara's scary hockey stick.<br /><br />And even though you don't need anyone to say it, you did such a good job. You handled everything so well, and then you somehow figured out how to give words to all the different emotions and angles of the experience. Future Baby is a lucky kid. :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7851562882838801276.post-79568850112785604452011-02-16T19:00:44.444-08:002011-02-16T19:00:44.444-08:00Woman! You know I think of you and Chris like exte...Woman! You know I think of you and Chris like extended family, right? So if you ever need anything, I'm here for you. <3 <3 <3<br /><br />(Oh, and what the shit with that doctor?! He was completely out of line -- you really should report him.)illyrilexhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03831617254498225464noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7851562882838801276.post-33040506919940495382011-02-16T17:57:10.040-08:002011-02-16T17:57:10.040-08:00I'm with KC on reporting the doctor. That beha...I'm with KC on reporting the doctor. That behavior is inexcusable. <br /><br />You have written so movingly about such an awful experience. Thank you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7851562882838801276.post-28227492405482066132011-02-16T17:09:17.873-08:002011-02-16T17:09:17.873-08:00I still think you should have reported the bastard...I still think you should have reported the bastard. Kaiser needs to know that his bedside manner is seriously lacking. I know this was was a difficult story to share, and you did so gracefully. For a million reasons, I'm proud to be your mother.KC Rawleyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12184084337311564450noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7851562882838801276.post-86172549645398358912011-02-16T16:44:10.446-08:002011-02-16T16:44:10.446-08:00Yeah, I don't know what his deal was. I'm ...Yeah, I don't know what his deal was. I'm sure he handles miscarriages every day. I'm sure they are very common to him. But, I think a good doctor knows that it isn't common to ME and treats the patient like a person, not a statistic. At least the second doctor made up for some of that.<br /><br />And, I love anecdotes. Seriously. I've been scouring he web for them since this happened. So, thanks for that.Meganhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18314404326604784926noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7851562882838801276.post-88625791100023882582011-02-16T16:35:21.332-08:002011-02-16T16:35:21.332-08:00I'm glad you wrote your story down.
But th...I'm glad you wrote your story down. <br /><br />But that doctor. Boy I'd like to swat him with a sharpened hockey stick. Why do bastards go into medicine? (A friend of mine had a doc like that, so we know there are bastards in Canada too)<br />(that friend went on to have her much-wanted baby, in case you like anecdotes)(some people don't)(but I do)(I kind of cling to them, sometimes, actually)<br /><br />:)clarahttp://torturedpotato.com/cheeseblognoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7851562882838801276.post-57328469833305676272011-02-16T15:41:27.648-08:002011-02-16T15:41:27.648-08:00Thank you so much, Amy. :)Thank you so much, Amy. :)Meganhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18314404326604784926noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7851562882838801276.post-85173810979438477252011-02-16T15:05:33.022-08:002011-02-16T15:05:33.022-08:00You are such a brave and amazing and strong woman....You are such a brave and amazing and strong woman. I have been through this, and while I'd like to say "Don't worry, you'll be fine," I also know it's not that easy. Please know I and so many women have been where you are and can ALWAYS be relied on. Never feel embarrassed, never feel ashamed. You need help, honey, it's there in a second. -AmyAmyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13491570584489402448noreply@blogger.com